I have never been, nor will I probably ever be a fan of organizing, cleaning, or throwing stuff away unless it involves school supplies and notebooks. Therefore, for years, I have tried to convince myself that the mess I had made of my closet is simply the result of the certain phobias I have including, but of course not limited to:
1) Throwing something away that is important to me now.
2) Throwing something away that is not important to me now, but will someday hold significant sentimental value. (Ex. a love note I received from a 2nd grade crush would be thrown away before we eventually got married.)
3) Finding something scary.
However, recent events have instead forced me to get over myself. For the past two weeks, I’ve been cleaning out my death trap of a closet. Clutter? Gone. Notes from camp that smell because they got wet somehow? Gone. My J Brizzle board from basketball with rebound stickers galore? Gone. A picture of Nirja Parekh with a photoshopped picture of Kenny G’s head in a cowboy frame? Gone. (Regrettably and tearfully. But still…gone.) Nascar mug? Gone. (After thinking…huh?) Cigars a roommate hid in my underwear drawer at college as a joke, that somehow ended up hidden in my real underwear drawer at home and looking semi-shady? Gone. (Unsmoked and untouched. Never fear, Mom.) Dainty foot cream? Gone. Senior Prom dress? Gone. Kacey Gilpin’s speech outlines from Intro to Speech? Gone, without asking her permission. A Pittsburgh Penguin puck? Gone. A baseball card signed by the one and only Rusty Greer. Didn’t make the Hall of Fame, so, gone. Shoes that I had no reason keeping? Gone. A DVD collection of all of Johnny Carson’s Late Night Episodes? Still here, partly in honor of Ed McMahon’s recent passing, but mostly because I’ve loved me some Carsey since I was 3.
After sweat, a sore back, lost sleep, and plenty of Michael Jackson news/specials/memorials/music videos emmenating from my TV in the background, I can proudly say, I will have reached the summit of my proverbial climb tomorrow. I will come out of the closet (almost retyped that phrase, but it was too funny), as a straight woman (phrase inserted upon editing), with my head held high after conquering my Mt. Everest. Praise the King of Pop.
However, I can’t say it’s been all bad. It’s been fun to look through notes from friends, to laugh at graduation gifts from high school, and to find journals from years past. Honestly, it’s given me some nice little closure on this 22 year long life and has allowed me to think about the next step. What do I really need? What do I just keep to puff up my pride (please see J Brizzle board)? What do I keep to feel secure? Obviously, there are treasured memories to keep, and Precious Moments caricatures that I have to keep to give to my kids as family heirlooms, but if I keep everything from my past, there wont be enough room for the full experiences ahead in my future. So, my suggestion for the closet and for life? Examine everything. Take what you need. Give away what you don’t need but is still useful. Throw away the rest. Treasure the good stuff. And look toward the future. Oh, and remember the scary stuff you might find is only there because you put it there.
